Why I (Possibly) Hate Blogging

Ever since we started this blog, I’ve really only ever cringed when I think about it.  It never looks quite the way I want it to, never reads quite right to me, it often seems a little narcissistic, and I feel like Michael and I are completely different people than when we first started it about 3 years ago.  Then there’s also the fact that it’s journaling publicly… and while I love journaling, it makes me nervous to walk the line between authenticity and sharing too much.  I never want to know more of people (or people to know more of me) from the internet than I would know them face to face.  

Speaking of, I also just get awkward about bridging the gap between social media and real life with people.  And since we’ve moved to a new city, we’ve met a lot of people, which has resurfaced this topic in my mind.  There’s the Michael and Katelyn that people meet at work or church, and then there’s also our social media selves, and it’s just had me thinking about why I post what I do and whether or not it is an accurate representation of our lives and true selves.  I haven’t quite resolved whether or not it all feels phony to me, and if so, what to do about it.

And then I get a little annoyed that I’m even spending time and brain space THINKING ABOUT SOCIAL MEDIA. (As Michael observed recently, I have thoughts about my thoughts and feelings about my feelings, haha.) But I am seeing more and more how people do really connect through the interwebs and form real life friendships.

There’s also the fact that I love reading blogs.  You find others with similar outlooks and realize you’re not the one.  You also find those who challenge your outlook, and then those who just downright inspire you in ways that change your life. I realized recently that I held onto my dream of living in the city with a family, that maybe it could be possible, because of a blogger.

So, all of that to say, sorry for the pause. I think we’re going to keep this blog up, at least for a bit longer.  If we haven’t called it quits by now then I don’t know that we ever will. ;)

Here are a few photos from the past few weeks (starting with this Sunday and moving backwards). Half of them I stole from Michael's snap chat, which probably goes against all of the social rules of snap chatting, but I'm old so I'll plead ignorance.

Seriously, this kid was made for selfies.

Chi Dogs

You know that blissful feeling when your baby falls asleep right before you get to your lunch destination, so you get to enjoy a bit more of a date (sans tiny hands in your food), but not before documenting with your new selfie stick?

Yeah, us either. 

I'm kind of embarrassed to admit this, but after almost 3 months of living here we FINALLY experienced real Chicago hot dogs.  It was kind of intimidating to look at, but when I chose not to look and just eat it was a really enjoyable experience. :) I wasn't able to recognize half of the toppings, haha.

We had heard that The Wieners Circle could be kind of a scene at night (think Ed Debevics, only not as kid friendly) but our experience today was really pleasant and normal. :) Plus it was a beautiful day.  I think Chicago may be starting to feel fall around the corner? I cannot wait to experience all of the seasons here... I know winter may be a bear, but come on, Christmas lights in the city?? Be still my heart.

Anyways, Atticus is getting to more of an exploratory age so I can tell when he's getting antsy in the stroller.  He used to be cool with an all day excursion buckled into his seat, and while he still is for the most part, we try to hold him once in a while to give him a change of scenery.

This kid has the sweetest soul.  The fact that he's able to better express his affection for his Papa and I constantly has my heart going crazy.  Just look at that arm over Michael's shoulder, and his bashful nuzzles.  While I miss the newborn days, his recent growth in this area has both of us really excited to get to know him as a growing boy, to know more of who he is and what makes him tick. Right now it seems to be cuddles, toys, and milk. ;)

We then walked around the area a bit more.  It was nice to have time today to just wander around.  Michael has been having some crazy weekends working lately so it was nice to just all be together.

One of Atticus's favorite things is when I wave his clothes in his face while changing his diaper (as you can see in this video here.)  One small negative about city bathrooms is they hardly ever have baby changing stations in them (and I mean, Starbucks!? Come on...). Not a big deal, but it means he often gets changed in his stroller.  

We ended up heading home in the middle of a Cubs rush... ahhhhh. The nice thing about cubs fans is they're all just out to have fun, so they don't mind that you have a stroller taking up the standing room of two adults... thank you, commuters from the suburbs, for your kindness. :)

Everything is a Season

Our little trooper is overall a great sleeper. 3 naps a day, 11-12 hours of nighttime sleep.  We really are lucky.  But those 11-12 hours of sleep were only interrupted by 1 feeding when he was 4 months old, but this 5th month brings us enough wakings to feel like a newborn. I think that this is due to a few factors (a season of low milk supply being my main suspicion) but the point that I am continually learning is that nothing is forever.  Everything is a season.

This hit me hard in the first few weeks of parenthood.  We brought Atticus home and it seemed like he slept all the time.  I was all like “Whew! We have a good sleeper!”  Then 2 days later he was awake a lot and needing a lot more attention. THEN my outlook became “Ah! We have a terrible sleeper! What do we do!?”  And it seemed like this was the case with every area of his life.  Nothing was guaranteed to stay the way that it currently was! Good or bad.  

This ended up being a very freeing fact when dealing with certain challenges of caring for him.  And when other parents would talk about how that stage would pass like it did for their children, I began to actually believe them!

I think (or hope) that this has helped in my continual learning to not base my satisfaction on outside circumstances.  It’s not worth it to be content because xyz is going well because it will ultimately disappoint.  It’s also not worth it to be deeply discontent because xyz is going poorly, because it’s not the end.  

I am just trying to always be aware that God is ultimately in control of it all, and He is the only thing that will never change or fail.

Family Day

This is the first weekend living here that we're not unpacking and Michael's not working. Hooray! We spent a few hours downtown today, I got to see Michael's office and another Bowtruss location. I still can't believe that we get to call this city home and that Michael gets to work in the heart of it. Sometimes I'm not content with the fact that we don't live closer to the hustle and bustle of downtown, but then I'm like, Katelyn, you live in Chicago at all. Be grateful. 

And I am. :)

Ok, I just think the shape of his head is adorable. Also, they love each other. 

I loved getting to see his work space!

A few of the views from his office... Seriously. Is this real life.

Then we just wandered around, got some chick-fil-a, and got a taste of the magnificent mile at forever21. 😳 I must be getting way old but I'd much prefer shopping online in the comfort of my pjs and bed, thank you.

I've wanted to live in the city for pretty much my whole life, but being here with M and A makes the experience is so much richer than I ever imagined. ❤️

Cesarean Recovery Must Haves

I was in no way prepared when I went into labor that I would soon be dealing with recovering from surgery, and I bet that most moms aren't. I don't know if anyone can really prepare you for what it will be like - not only is your body recovering from a surgery (mainly an internal and external incision) but also a long labor, as most cesareans follow. I was also recovering from the infection. Add all of that on top of your body being like "wait, there's not a baby here anymore?" and it's a lot to process. Like I said, we barely even had a hospital bag because we were prepared to go home a few hours after delivery at the birthing center, so in no way were we thinking about this process of a recovery. I like to think that it would have been helpful to have this list of items to order on Amazon or have Michael run out and get during those initial days of recovery in the hospital. I'm keeping this around in case we need it next time.

A co-sleeper

When you have an incision in your lower abdomen and your muscles are all jacked up from being pregnant anyways, it's nearly impossible to sit up, and you're not supposed to. But you ARE supposed to spend a week in bed. While caring for your baby. This was the one item on this list that we didn't get due to lack of space in our bedroom, but trust me I think Michael and I both would have benefitted from this. Because I couldn't get up out of bed Michael had to bring Atticus to me every time he needed to be fed - this was especially tedious during the night. Michael was seriously amazing and never complained about helping me this way, I think I hated it more than him. I honestly don't remember how long this stage of the recovery lasted but it would have been worth the money of the cosleeper. It would even still be a benefit now when he needs his binky put back in. I know there's a whole philosophy of cosleeping and whether or not you should do it, but trust me. This isn't about parenting styles, but about the survival of both parents.

Tall underwear

This is probably an item that's good for any type of postpartum recovery, so just go buy them now so that you don't have to send your husband out to get them (which mine graciously did. Twice.) Not only will you have that not yet shrunken tummy, but also your incision. And believe me, when you have an incision you do not want any risk of an elastic waistband coming in contact with it. Mine felt sensitive for the first 6 weeks, so again, worth the investment. (But seriously, why do granny panties have to be so expensive!?) Added bonus: you can test if that retro-style, high-waisted bikini you've been considering is actually a good look for you. ;)

Maternity leggings

Mainly for the same reasons listed above. You will welcome the fact that the waistband is at your bra line.

Mirilax

Okay guys, this is no joke. The pain meds they give you in recovery will wreck you without this stuff. A week after my c-section I actually ended up in the ER with chest pains due to... You guessed it. It was so bad that they initially thought it to be a blood clot in my lungs. And I was the 3rd post c-section patient they saw that week for this reason. I was even faithfully taking my prescribed softener, but just do yourself a favor before you need intervention and have this on hand. 

Okay sorry if that was gross (but also, you're welcome). Moving on!

Goodbelly probiotic drink

I don't know if this is necessary for all c-sections but it probably wouldn't hurt. Since A and I were on antibiotics for the infection I tried to replenish us with some probiotics and this drink was pretty good. There's lots to know about probiotics, I don't know that much, but I can tell you that this tastes yummy.

Drivers

Your doctor will probably tell you not to drive for a certain number of weeks. Listen. You don't even know how much you use those lower abdominal muscles when driving, and they need lots of time to heal after the cesarean. BUT there are lots of fun follow up appointments for you and baby to attend, so let people drive you. Ask people to drive you. I was really blessed to have women from our church drive me to all of our appointments. You may feel helpless asking for this kind of help, but you are serving your baby by allowing yourself to heal. Always remember that.

Snap-n-go stroller

In addition to not driving, you absolutely should not attempt to lift your baby in the car seat. Ask your drivers to carry baby to the car and into appointments. After I was driving myself to appointments I got the snap-n-go stroller so I still didn't have to carry the car seat, especially through hospital parking garages. Our stroller is not compatible with our car seat, but even if it was it would have been too  heavy to get in and out of the car. I imagine that strollers that are part of a car seat combo would also be too heavy, so do yourself a favor and get this. It's super light and folds flat.

Convenient healthy food

Yes you want to lose the baby weight but do not skimp on nourishing your body while it is healing AND providing nourishment for your baby. I didn't want to eat hardly at all the first 2 weeks just because of not feeling well and stress. I began to recognize how not eating well made my already existing baby blues even worse. When Michael realized I probably wasn't eating enough he really stepped in and made sure I was, and he knew this meant more than telling me to eat more, he would make me meals that weren't being brought to us, or heat up leftovers. If you aren't overeating by the end of your pregnancy, you should be increasing your caloric intake as you begin nursing.

Open calendar 

As much as this is true for any new mom, it is especially true for cesarean mommas. As I said earlier, the best way you can serve your baby is by allowing yourself to heal. Don't take the 6 week recovery time as a suggestion, and if you are still not feeling 100% by then, lay low. Your body is recovering from two very traumatic events at once. Don't try to entertain. Do have people over but don't place expectations on yourself of hosting.

Okay, that's the list for now. :) I do want to add that while those weeks of recovering were HARD, I loved Atticus's birth, and it was no less special because it was a cesarean. Also, I have come to appreciate my scar. Whenever I catch it in the mirror I am amazed that that is where my baby came from, and I love that I can have that visual reminder of my precious boy and his delivery into this world.

Ps- you can read our birth story here: http://michaelandkatelynglaze.blogspot.com/2015/03/atticus-david-glaze-birth-story-and.html?m=1

From Spokane to Chicago

I kind of still can't believe what I am about to write, but since my last entry we haved moved to Chicago! And Michael started a new job! Which, seriously, I have never experienced this much wife pride until watching him take on this new responsibility AND a new city, and thrive in both.

So far we are all loving it here. Michael started work a few days after we arrived and he's gotten to see so much of the city every day, because he is visiting the company's various locations throughout the work day. I spent the first week exploring our neighborhood and getting a feel for grocery shopping and other necessary errands A and I will be taking. This week we've mostly hung around the apartment so that Atticus could establish a more consistent napping schedule. When I found out we were moving I kind of threw all hopes of a schedule out the window until after we moved, but by the end of the move I could see that taking a few days to establish A's schedule at the beginning would have saved him confusion (and me headache) at the end. Oh well, next time, right?

One thing that I've been really grateful about our area at least is that everyone is usually really happy to see a baby. It's not that I have someone to open the door for me every time, but as I'm struggling through the door nobody is giving me dirty looks for taking up so much space with my stroller as I thought they would. I just try to keep in mind as we explore that the city is not made for strollers, and it may mean we have to go to a different L stop or find a different restaurant if there's no room, but it hasn't been an issue. I think though that preparing myself to be flexible and ask for help has saved me a lot of stress as we explore.

I'm excited to share pics of our apartment and new experiences in the coming weeks. Thanks for following along with our new adventure!

Many thanks to the Gullas for all the help!

Loving Bowtruss coffee! 

Already tapping in to nearby family. Thanks for coming so we could finish unpacking!

Nursing A - never appreciated sidewalk benches until now!

Loved visiting Lincoln Park

Such. Good. Light. And clean laundry. :)