19 Weeks

Hey there bebe mango!  

This week has been a mentally and emotionally exhausting one.  I’ve been constantly on the phone with various insurance people and care providers trying to make it all align.  While the 30 minute holds are inconvenient, I think that this insurance battle is wearing on me at a deeper level, because insurance lives in the world of worse case scenarios.  That’s why you get insurance for anything, right?  I want to be aware of possible worse case scenarios, and I’m so glad that insurance and other entities exist to aid in worst case scenarios.  But while I always want to be aware of what could happen, weighing all of the various insurance options in light of the worst possible outcomes of the birth has made my brain camp out there. 

In the midst of these calls this past week, we also had the opportunity to interview 3 doulas.  It ended up being a really encouraging experience – doulas are not worst case scenario people.  They will journey with you there if it happens, but they don’t assume the worst until it happens.  The 3 women were great, they all boasted different strengths so I feel that we have a very well rounded pool to choose from.  I just couldn’t believe how much I needed someone to look me in the eye and say “I love the birth process, it’s beautiful, let me journey with you.” When did I become so emotionally needy?!? Thanks for that one, hormones.

In the midst of everything, I am truly grateful for that husband of mine.  Not only has he planned a little weekend getaway for us, but he texted me at work so that I would be able to "mentally prepare" for the change of plans. :) He knows and loves me so well!

-K&M